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Saturday, October 15, 2011
Today I choose recovery
Saturday, October 8, 2011
while you are sitting there judging my life, yours is passing you by!!
first off, is the stigma attached to the label.
with the exception of those in recovery, the
general public has no conception of what it
feels like to be in our shoes.
next is the constant scrutiny of when we are
going to screw up.
many of our past attempts and failures give
people good reason to be suspicious.
the thing i miss the most is the social aspect.
whether it was the beer at the ball park, or
choosing a wine for dinner, there was something
enticing about drinking for relaxation or just
lessening the inhibitions(shy folks know what i mean)
of course no one misses the final stages of compulsive
drinking; but for those who took a long time to get to
that stage, there are good memories to draw from.
so until someone invents a pill that allows me
to drink or use safely, i will keep those former days as just that; memories.
Sunday, September 18, 2011
September twenty eleven
So I had surgery on September 7th, they had to repair a torn ligament and take out a big chunk of bone. Funny story, they put in a pain pump, lidocaine. I went back to the dr. a week later and he said, the lidocaine should be basically gone, and I'm like what? I still have most of it and he says "haven't you been pushing the button to dose yourself" "what button" oh geez, nobody told me about the damn button. so I made it the first week with little pain relief. It's been almost two weeks now, and it's slowly getting better, I am on crutches for roughly six weeks, (non weight bearing) and hopefully this will fix my years of problems and ultimately the beginning of my addiction.
I just got back from St. George with my Grandma, grandpa, aunt, mom, and sister. We went to Tuachan to see Grease and the little mermaid! Amazing! For TLM they flooded the stage to make it look like the ocean, it a really fun trip. We even got to stay in the presidential suite, we had a hot tub on the deck, which was awesome, except that, hmmm... im in a cast. sad day.
Also Thought I'd add this for my addict friends, and hell for those of you who aren't, maybe it'll help you understand, uh, something :)
If God spoke to AA he might have said:
Into your weak and feeble hands I have entrusted a power beyond your estimate. To you has been given that which has been denied the most learned of your fellows. Not to scientists or statesmen, not to wives or mothers, not even to my priests and ministers have I given this gift of healing other alcoholics, which I entrust to you. It must be used unselfishly. It carries with it grave responsibility. No day can be too long, no demands upon your time can be too urgent, no case too pitiable, not task too hard, no effort too great. It must be used with tolerance, for I have restricted its application to no race, no creed, and no denomination. Personal criticism you must expect, lack of appreciation will be common, ridicule will be your lot, your motives will be misjudged. Success will not always attend your efforts in your work with other alcoholics. You must be prepared for adversity, for what men call adversity is the ladder you must use to ascend the rung toward spiritual perfection. I shall not exact of you beyond your capabilities.
You are not selected because of your exceptional talents; and be careful always, if success attends your efforts, not to ascribe it to personal superiority, that to which you can lay claim only by virtue of my gift. If I had wanted learned men to accomplish this mission, the power would have been entrusted to the physician and the scientist. If I had wanted eloquent men there would have been many anxious for the assignment, for talk is the easiest used of all talents with which I have endowed mankind. If I had wanted scholarly men, the world is filled with better qualified than you who would have been available. You were selected because you have been outcasts of the world, as your long experience as a drunkard has made, or should make you, humbly alert to the cries of distress that come from the lonely hearts of alcoholics everywhere. Keep ever in mind the admission that you made on the day of your profession of A.A.-- namely, that you are powerless, and that it was only with your willingness to turn your life and will into my keeping that relief came to you.
Think not, that because you have been dry one year or two years, or ten years, that it is the result of your unaided efforts. The help which has been keeping you normal will keep you so just as long as you live this program which I have mapped out for you. Beware of the pride that comes from growth, the power of numbers and invidious comparisons between yourselves, or your organization with other orginizations whose sucess depends on numbers, money and position. These material things are no part of your creed. The success of material organization comes from pooling of joint assets: yours from the union of mutual liabilities. Appeal for membership in material organizations is based upon a boastful recital of their accomplishments: yours on the humble admission of weakness. The motto of successful commercial enterprise is: "he profits most who serve best." The wealth of material organizations, when they take the inventory, is measured by what they have left: yours, when you take moral inventory, by what you have given.
Sunday, August 21, 2011
You might be an addict if..........
I posted this on facebook and I thought the conversation was hilarious so I thought I'd share it here :)
Feel free to add more in the comment section!
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